i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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