my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
