there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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