his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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