Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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