come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
