I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
