I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
