is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
