she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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