LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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