OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I want a musical about memes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
