I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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