You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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