I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
