please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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