Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
