you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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