If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
