I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
