who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
