he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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