no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
