Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
