Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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