I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
