You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
