So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
