my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just invented taco cereal.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize