you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
