How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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