Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
