what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize