It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
