She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
