after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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