I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
