If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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