You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
