I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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