pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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