fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
