You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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