MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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