is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize