she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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