PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
