He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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