i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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