hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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