it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
