just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
im calling her cock vulture from now on
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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