I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
