We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
