obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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