i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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