one might say we're banned from that church
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
