this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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