Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
