i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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