i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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