And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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