So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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